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Bereavement and the Five Stages of Grief

Elizabeth Kübler-Ross identified what is commonly called the five stages of grief, in her work with dying people. These are the kinds of things you may face/can expect when dealing with the loss of a loved one.

Five Stages of Grief in Bereavement

1. Denial–"This can't be happening to me." "It's not real."
   Either consciously or unconsciously, we refuse to accept the facts; a normal defense in the midst of a crisis.
2. Anger – "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; "Who's to blame?"
   We may be mad at God for taking our loved one or we may even be angry with our loved one for leaving us.
3. Bargaining –Like Queen Victoria setting out Albert's clothes every day, we can do things with a hazy idea that "If I do this, he won't be really gone" or "...I won't feel as much pain".
   We may try to make a deal with God, others or ourselves in an attempt to regain some control of the situation and to make things work. We're still in denial at this stage.
4. Depression – "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
   This may be our first step toward accepting reality; deeper feelings are allowed in now.
5. Acceptance – "It's going to be okay.", "I can't fight it, I may as well get used to it."
   This generally indicates some objectivity and a sense of detachment in coming to terms with our new reality.