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The Road To Recovery

What happens when, by a cruel twist of fate, a loved one is suddenly taken away?

When you experience a traumatic life event—that moment in your life where everything changes—the harsh reality is that, unbelievably, life continues. You keep breathing. The hours pass. The sun rises and sets. The mail gets delivered. Meals are prepared. Events continue to unfold in the outside world.

After my husband's sudden death, it was startling to realize that the headlines in my life were not really of interest to the rest of the world. I was living in a reality so different that it was hard to know or care what was going on "out there".

It took time to recognize that, like it or not, I was still a part of the world. I remember thinking: Even with all that has happened, I am expected to participate. I get up each morning and continue to "deal". This is the road I am on and the sad truth that confronts me every day.

Life happens to me and I respond or I run out to meet it and make things happen myself. Either way, I'm on the road. I must continue traveling toward something; walking, crawling, sometimes barely moving, sometimes crashing into the guardrail. But still the road presents itself every day, every moment.

It's not easy or predictable. There are perilous bumps in the road and I've made my share of mistakes. It's terrifying at times, sometimes strangely exhilarating, almost always exhausting. But I see now that there is a path out of the painful darkness, and that it is possible to again see the light of a new day.

And the essence of the road is this: to face life—each choice, test, and impossible decision—and to still try to do the right thing, to be true to who we are and to learn as much as we can along the way.

I've learned to trust my heart to lead me and asked God to make up for all my shortcomings. I'm getting used to the idea that participating in life will once again be a good thing.

If your sad reality is overwhelming you, the most important thing you can focus on is regaining your equilibrium. Stay on the road. Face what comes your way. But also, be patient with yourself and rest when you are weary.

As hard as it sounds, having a routine can be a great source of strength right now. Regaining your balance may be one of the best ways to start the healing process and to keep moving forward on this difficult journey.